Dear fear, hope your mom's well.

Towards the end of my recent fall semester in my counseling class, we were learned about a ton of different therapeutic techniques in the field; who founded them, key points, what to potentially expect, etc. At this point we were learning Narrative Therapy, which is founded by two guys by the names of Michael White and David Epston. It's all about trying to get the client to "re-author" their lives, learning how to construct new meanings for life events that could of potentially made or are making negative impacts on the individuals life, and trying to turn it around and make it more positive. Or not even positive sometimes, just to realize that an event happened, and no matter the outcome, you take that experience and grow from it, and you don't let it hold you back.

Well, one of the techniques that a counselor could do with their client is try and externalize the problem. And how you could do that is make whatever it is an entity other than themselves by say, writing a letter addressed to anyone or anything. Our in class assignment was to write a letter to fear. This is when it got quite interesting.

Many people's were serious, something along the lines of, "I really hate it when you hold me back" or, "If it wasn't for you I would be doing so much more with my life, but you really have helped me at times." But I remember be at a complete road block. I had no idea what to write on the spot, so I went with the famous defense mechanism of humor. My letter was as fallowed:

"Dear Fear,

I haven't seen you lately, hope you're well. Can't really remember the last time we spoke...but your good friend stress sure has been around. You two seem to pair quite well together, I should really set you both up on a date. Dress: semi-casual. I'm sure I'll be seeing you rather soon, with a major life decision coming up and all. Tell your mother Loathing I said hi, and I hope Las Vegas is hot. -Love always, Crystal."

When everyone was finished, I felt I should maybe keep my response to myself when my professor asked for some volunteers to read theirs out loud.  When I heard the seriousness of everyone else's response I thought maybe I'm just not a very serious person. Although I'm sure I can be at times. This was just not one of those moments.

However, even though I was a complete smart-ass with the assignment, I understood the gist of it and what our professor wanted us to try and get out of it. Taken more seriously, I could see how this could be an interesting therapeutic technique for some people.

But like I've mentioned in a previous post, fear is such a pivotal driving element for us, or it would seem more often than not, a hindrance to many, and I'm sure all of us at one point in time. The majority of people's responses (the ones that took it a bit more seriously), had something to do with how fear has held them back or made them feel as if they were unable to do something that they really wanted to. Also, another driving point my professor tried to express throughout the whole fall semester was: living is a risk, try to live in the now and don't let anything hold you back, especially fear. All great take home messages, but it is indeed true that many of us, including myself, don't necessarily live life to the fullest because of this pesky thing called fear.  

It is a bit fearful, living, but who wants to live with all the should of's, could haves, and would haves? I sure don't.

If anyone is interested in learning a bit more about this type of technique you could do a simple google search: Narrative Therapy (Theory). Or if you're feeling up to it and a bit exploratory, try writing a letter addressed to anyone or anything yourself. You might be amazed by some of the things you write.

My opinion is this therapy is quite interesting, and potentially useful, but I don't think you generalize this technique to everyone. Some people just don't like these types of exercises or necessarily learn this way. And you never know, you could also get a smart-ass like me who shits all over it.

Keep calm, and stay fearless people.