Red Light XXX

It's been hard to update this as of late since I felt like I was living a dream, and now sadly it has come to a close, and how I hope everyday that it's only a temporary close. Putting that dream into words has proven difficult. It was all the positive adjectives you can think of, all the sweet ones too, and even some choice romantic and steamy ones. I loved every minute of my time in England, and my travels within, but yet again I'm filled with that familiar post travel blues that's hard to shake off if you don't actively try.

I'll start off with the easier things to write and share about, and that was my trip to Amsterdam, Holland.

From the left: Jennifer, Jess, Karen, Natalie, me, Kelly & Mary
Featuring: Special guest Marie Fitton 

This is all of us, and this picture is actually hilarious since our flatmate Marie (the one "right under" the top part of the 'A') was one of the only people who didn't go to Amsterdam that week. She photo shopped her head into the picture, with some skill I might add. 

All of us in Amsterdam, I would later realize, would make an interesting sight. Us being six American twenty-something-year-olds served for many stares there, and I learned to understand it and eventually get used to it. 

Amsterdam was super touristy, as to be expected, but it was probably the most touristy place I've been to in my travels thus far. The locals were hard to find, but easy to spot since they were the only ones without a backpack strapped to the front of themselves rather than the back, and the only ones who didn't look wide eyes and scared at oncoming bike traffic (which is insane! And really cool to see). I definitely give props to those bike riders, it's a fast pace helmet-less life, and you not only have to be aware of other bikes and traffic, but with people like me running into their bike lanes on a whim.  

We had a great time...from what we remember. Highlights included the Anne Frank house, which was surreal to be in after learning and reading about it for so many years. A canal tour of the city with a driver who had a real dry sense of humor, but bless him for trying. One of his jokes featured tilted houses that were "dancing" and others involved she-male stories about the Red Light District...real knee slappers.

Side note about the Red Light District, it wasn't as explicit as I had imagined it to be. I guess I had imaged it to be easily visible for all passerbyers to see, miles long down a major canal or something, the red lights so bright you had to wear sunglasses to be able to see. Okay, maybe not that extreme but you get my exaggerations. But no, it's almost hidden off of a street by a church, which is hilarious to me, and certainly not miles long. Being there during the day and being there at night are two different stories, but when we walked past during the day the women were fairly covered up and bored looking. I'm pretty sure when we emerged on the other side I said, "That was it?"

Going to the "I am Amsterdam" sign proved to be a little difficult for us. Long story short, four ferry rides in total we made it to get our picture. I'm just grateful those ferry rides were free. And lastly, a free walking tour. Now normally I rave over these, I've been on a few in my travels when I was studying in Spain and have had nothing but positive experiences using them in places like Ireland and Mallorca. But I think it was a combination of a rainy day and partially the guide that it fell a little short for me. But hey, I can't really complain, it's nice of them to volunteer their time and you tip the guide at the end however much you want and you're on your way.  

Although I had an amazing time in Amsterdam with amazing people, I had this strange feeling that I missed home, and that home being Camden. When we arrived back at our flat it was almost startling how much I missed it and was glad to be back. I took these feelings with the utmost caution because I knew then I was starting to get really comfortable where I was, settled down even, and it would make going back to America that much harder. I wouldn't realize exactly how hard it would be until the weeks that followed were over, and the next thing I knew I was at the airport hearing my final boarding call and telling myself to breath.

Didn't I just get here?  

Chivalry and Solsbury Hill

I find it interesting that one of the stereotypes Americans seem to have towards the British is that they seem to have a cold persona about them, rude almost. On the contrary, anyone who I've spoken to who’s visited or lived in the UK has said quite the opposite of this very wrong stereotype. I can attest to this as well just from my short time here in London.

It never ceases to amaze me that in this big, fast pace city everyone is willing to lend a helping hand.

On our first weekend here my friend from the program and I went to go locate our internship sites since both of ours are in the same area of town. We wanted to make sure we knew exactly where they were for our “interviews” the following day. I put interview in quotations because it was more of tea time and cake than an interview. I’m not really complaining, it’s just the way they were describing how the process was going to be during orientation was a lot more formal and nerve racking than it actually was.

Anyways, when we were looking for her internship site we ended up getting a little lost. We eventually asked someone at a crosswalk if they knew where this particular street was. When he said he wasn't sure, I was surprised when he took out his iPhone, and began looking up where it was and showed us on a map. Not only did this man take time out of his day to help us, he was extremely nice about it.

The other night at a local bar, it was pretty packed since it was a Saturday night. I had to stop and take a moment when I realized one guy after the other (I think it was three that I counted), stopped and moved over to the side and gestured for me so I could walk by comfortably. And I don’t mean this in a flirty way or any sort of sexual context, just out of pure politeness.       

The fact that these types of actions genuinely surprise me makes me sad. And I don’t know if it’s because the British use words like “darling” or “love” when they speak to you, but I really think us Americans could learn a lesson in general manners from the British. Maybe we’re the cold ones.

Now I’m not trying to totally bash my own culture, and I'm not saying these types of things would never happen in America. I just think in the age of technology we have become increasingly more standoff-ish. I ask you my friends, instead of looking down at your phones and tablets when you’re walking look up. Look around you, smile at someone. Say good morning, hi, or hello. And that is a challenge.       

On a different note, this weekend we went to Stonehenge and Bath. After having a typical London morning of finding out that the tube was closed and scrambling to find an alternative bus route, my housemate and I were running through the streets of London to get to our meeting point for the couch. Thankfully the driver was late as well, and we made it with minutes to spare.

Stonehenge was both impressive and unimpressive, if that makes any sense. The history behind it is really impressive. The fact that these people spent most of their lives doing back breaking labor, pulling upwards of 5 tons for literally years, and the fact that some of it still stands is really impressive. But the act of getting there, going through the metal rails and walking along a rope pathway was quite unimpressive. And it might sound strange, but what really took a lot away from the scenery were the fucking black birds sitting on the very top of the stones. They ruined everything.

Note the birds. 

Then we rode over to Bath through the rolling hills of Solsbury Hill. I could see why Peter Gabriel would want to write a song about it, they really are beautiful. And Bath is situated right in the middle of them, taking on the rolling like structure of the hills.

We walked around the town and then went to the Roman Baths, and at the very end tasted some of the natural spring water that was semi-warm. Overall I really enjoyed Bath, and I wish we had a bit more time there.

The bath in Bath 

Until next time, and remember: look up. 

A very merry British July 4th

I was cooking pasta for the first time in my new flat the day after I arrived. I finally got some groceries, and am lucky to live directly across the street from a store. I’m also lucky enough to like right next to a heavy metal pub, but that’s another story. For me cooking, even though my cooking skills are sub par, is really one of the first milestones in claiming a new place; really making it feel like yours. So its official, I live in London.

The word that keeps coming to mind when I try and describe celebrating the 4^th in the same country that we rebelled from is ‘interesting.’ The phrase that keeps coming to mind is, ‘are we good?’

But in all actuality, even though it was very ‘interesting’ the whole day was quite nice. After our first orientation session, we went on a boat cruise on the river Thames. On the boat they had decorations, and on one side of the boat little American flags were hanging in the breeze and on the other side little British flags, as if to say, ‘Why yes, we are good.’

There was a barbecue for us and they tried their best in making hamburgers, sausages, chicken wings, coleslaw and pasta and potato salad. Sailing down the Thames it’s a mix of old and new buildings and it’s where I got my first glimpse of the London Eye, Big Ben (which fun fact is not the tower itself but the bell inside of it that you can’t even really see), the London Bridge, the Tower Bridge, and the Tower of London.

In the evening we celebrated the night with people from all parts of the European Union: British, Irish, and Spanish. That’s what made this 4^th so memorable (aside from the irony), and that is precisely why I love my neighborhood. It is not one homogeneous city, but a rich culturally diverse place. Each corner turns into something different, and holds all different types of foods and shops. You can also tell punk and metal never left Camden, with mohawks and about 5 different piercing and tattoo parlors within a block radius of each other. Camden is definitely a place for young people, and I am so happy to be living here.

Monday I have my interview and Tuesday starts classes. It’s easy to forget real quickly that I came here to study when there are so many things to do. But I’m going to forget a little while longer and explore the Camden Market some more today, and see Primrose Square tomorrow. I hope everyone back home had a fantastic and safe 4^th of July. Cheers!  

Round Two

It's hard to believe that the last blog post I wrote was months ago. In that time I enjoyed my last semester at SUNY Oswego with some amazing people, had a pretty awesome graduation party (from what I remember; damn you gin and tonics), and applied/got accepted into an internship program in London. I leave for the program in, oh about, four hours!

Yes, I'm very pleased to say that this blog will once again turn into a travel blog, another journey of a mad white woman. I'll be living in Camden, apparently a hipster town with lots of great pubs, and working at the Centre for Brain and Cognitive Development. I could not be more happy with the internship placement, exactly the one I was hoping for when applying for the program.

I've been itching to travel abroad again ever since I got back from Spain. The memories still feel like yesterday, but it's been over a year since I touched down in a sea of Spanish and well dressed people. Now I'll be arriving in a sea of British English and well dressed people. I just hope the same thing doesn't happen at customs like the last time I was in England: For the life of me I could not understand the man who was taking my passport. It was utterly embarrassing. He threw my passport back at me and said, "Get used to the accent." I was horrified. Wasn't he not speaking English?

Well lets hope that doesn't happen again, but now I have to catch my flight. Write again when I'm across the pond!

Cheers.

Dear fear, hope your mom's well.

Towards the end of my recent fall semester in my counseling class, we were learned about a ton of different therapeutic techniques in the field; who founded them, key points, what to potentially expect, etc. At this point we were learning Narrative Therapy, which is founded by two guys by the names of Michael White and David Epston. It's all about trying to get the client to "re-author" their lives, learning how to construct new meanings for life events that could of potentially made or are making negative impacts on the individuals life, and trying to turn it around and make it more positive. Or not even positive sometimes, just to realize that an event happened, and no matter the outcome, you take that experience and grow from it, and you don't let it hold you back.

Well, one of the techniques that a counselor could do with their client is try and externalize the problem. And how you could do that is make whatever it is an entity other than themselves by say, writing a letter addressed to anyone or anything. Our in class assignment was to write a letter to fear. This is when it got quite interesting.

Many people's were serious, something along the lines of, "I really hate it when you hold me back" or, "If it wasn't for you I would be doing so much more with my life, but you really have helped me at times." But I remember be at a complete road block. I had no idea what to write on the spot, so I went with the famous defense mechanism of humor. My letter was as fallowed:

"Dear Fear,

I haven't seen you lately, hope you're well. Can't really remember the last time we spoke...but your good friend stress sure has been around. You two seem to pair quite well together, I should really set you both up on a date. Dress: semi-casual. I'm sure I'll be seeing you rather soon, with a major life decision coming up and all. Tell your mother Loathing I said hi, and I hope Las Vegas is hot. -Love always, Crystal."

When everyone was finished, I felt I should maybe keep my response to myself when my professor asked for some volunteers to read theirs out loud.  When I heard the seriousness of everyone else's response I thought maybe I'm just not a very serious person. Although I'm sure I can be at times. This was just not one of those moments.

However, even though I was a complete smart-ass with the assignment, I understood the gist of it and what our professor wanted us to try and get out of it. Taken more seriously, I could see how this could be an interesting therapeutic technique for some people.

But like I've mentioned in a previous post, fear is such a pivotal driving element for us, or it would seem more often than not, a hindrance to many, and I'm sure all of us at one point in time. The majority of people's responses (the ones that took it a bit more seriously), had something to do with how fear has held them back or made them feel as if they were unable to do something that they really wanted to. Also, another driving point my professor tried to express throughout the whole fall semester was: living is a risk, try to live in the now and don't let anything hold you back, especially fear. All great take home messages, but it is indeed true that many of us, including myself, don't necessarily live life to the fullest because of this pesky thing called fear.  

It is a bit fearful, living, but who wants to live with all the should of's, could haves, and would haves? I sure don't.

If anyone is interested in learning a bit more about this type of technique you could do a simple google search: Narrative Therapy (Theory). Or if you're feeling up to it and a bit exploratory, try writing a letter addressed to anyone or anything yourself. You might be amazed by some of the things you write.

My opinion is this therapy is quite interesting, and potentially useful, but I don't think you generalize this technique to everyone. Some people just don't like these types of exercises or necessarily learn this way. And you never know, you could also get a smart-ass like me who shits all over it.

Keep calm, and stay fearless people.

Nostalgia in 2013

It's been quite a year, so naturally, with the new year here I've been on a bit of a nostalgic kick. I mean, just this time last year I was about to leave the country for 5 months, and spend it in one of the most beautiful cities in Spain. It changed my life, and I met some amazing people from all around the world. Hopefully I will have an equally amazing time abroad in London this summer if all goes well with the internship I am interested in. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Right around this time just last year is when I was about to embark on one of the biggest adventures of my life; thus the birth of this blog. The start of the journey of a mad white woman. I just can't believe that was almost a year ago, time sure does fly. I remember writing things like, "I'm a little nervous, but so excited to find out what I'm going to be experiencing for the next 5 months of my life in a foreign country," in my first posts. I can't believe that was 30 posts back. I guess for the most part, I'm still writing things like that, only now it's along the lines of I wonder what I'll be experiencing for the next, oh I don't know, two to five years of my life. It's all kind of a guessing game. You can predict, and sometimes those predictions might come true, but more often than not I'm usually way off the mark. You find yourself reminiscing with your friends saying things like "Man I can't believe we did that." Or, "What a year..." something along those lines.

I for one did not necessarily plan out that I would be going abroad. The thought of actually going started when I found out my school even offered programs abroad. I saw study abroad fairs in our schools campus center and language department, started looking at some flyers, and heard the stories of others about their great experiences from where ever they decided to go. So who knows what will happen in just a few short months. I'm hoping greatness. And fun, fun is always good too. I'm just trying to figure it out, while enjoying myself in the process.

These four photos I think pretty much encompass the majority of my 2012 abroad:

This picture was taken outside of my host families house in El Bosque, the town I lived in just outside the heart of Madrid. My host mother, father, sister, and host brothers fiance are at the table, but also my amazing friends who visited me during their spring break. We had a great lunch to welcome them to Spain with all the traditional food and wine I have grown to miss so much. Coincidentally at this lunch, Dom was coined the nickname "El Borrachon" (the drunk) by my host mom. Every time he asked for más agua por favor, his reply was from my host mom was, "No borrachon, más vino." We had a great afternoon, and I had fun playing translator since my host family does not speak English, so needless to say that was an amazingly interesting day.

The USA crew. This picture was taken at Carolina's going away dinner (to my right), since she was going back to the states before all of us. We made up the majority of the Americans who were at La Univerdidad Europea de Madrid last spring semester. Because of the unique experience we were all on, we formed a strong bond in such a short amount of time. The same can be said for this picture as well: 

From all parts of the world we met here in Spain. They are all truly amazing, and beautiful people. I hope to meet up with them all again someday. But for now we have the memories, and also the pains of missing each other, and the great times we had in a country other than our own. 

La última cena en Madrid. This was my specific program since we were all from SUNY schools they grouped us together when we arrived in Madrid with an amazing program director, who was from SUNY Oswego as well, but fell in love with Madrid and decided to make a life there. She was so great in showing us around the city so we could navigate and explore ourselves, while showing us some great buildings and places to eat, and also the history behind it all. This picture was taken right before our last supper at the oldest restaurant in the world, El Sobrino Botín. This is in one of my favorite squares, ópera. In the background is the opera itself, where we were so lucky to have seen a show during our stay in Spain. 

Reminiscing is great, and I miss everything about Spain, but I have a good feeling about this upcoming semester too. With the hopes of an internship abroad in London is making me excited about graduating and doing something different. As for the semester itself, I have a pretty good schedule, with great housemates and great friends. And of course, my 22nd birthday which is rearing it's ugly head right around the corner, so Oswego friends you should start to prepare for the shenanigans that will surely ensue. Here's to a great 2013. 

Oh and this photo as well, which is now the inspiration for my first tattoo! It is from La Ambra in Granada, Spain. After all, todo es merece la pena. 

Sickness and change

A recent trend I have found in new articles and blog posts I have been reading is: change and some sort of negativity or violence. The first related to the fact that we are all growing older, and many of us are at a crucial point in our lives; graduating, taking on potentially lifelong responsibilities, and commitment...or lack there of. And all of this is happening during a time where the world is exhibiting acts of  hate and violence toward each other.

The latter being the strand of violent actions just this past year. I don't remember if I mentioned this in a past post, or if this was just a conversation I remember having with a friend, but I remember talking about how there has been constant negative energy and signs of hate towards each other, especially lately. With the terribly tragic conversations we seam to be having with each other like, "Oh, those poor children in Connecticut whose family of the living and dead have to deal with the pain and suffering."

But it's not just those people in Connecticut who have to deal with the aftermath, although of course they are directly effected, but I believe people everywhere feel the results as well. As least I know I've felt a bit affected, it's made me think about certain things at the very least. Since these types of situations open up whole other topics of conversations like gun control, and mental health, just to name a few other topics. Those are always interesting conversations to have, to see where people stand and their thoughts on such matters, especially to hear what your close friend really think as well. But I think these conversations are absolutely necessary; sometimes, change may start with a conversation.

These are hateful, hateful things we are doing to each other. Will we ever get to a point were, basically, we can all just get along? Is treatment for mental health going out the window? (I think so). In some states is it too easy to acquire a gun, and if so, are those requirements too lenient? All valid questions I think, and I believe we need to talk about them.

On a lesser tragic note, also a topic of conversation was the  Mayan prediction of the Apocalypse (I know that already passed, but I have been pretty sick for over a week, just getting over it, finally). But I guess all on the same lines of impending doom. Personally, I never bought into it, although I do feel we are slowly, or maybe not so slowly, single handedly killing and polluting the environment. And continuing the way we're going may result in just a slight miscalculation on the Mayan's part, instead of feeling like we just got off the hook and we can keep doing what we've been doing. It was just an excuse to party, I mean how many events did everyone see on facebook with the title, "End of the World Party," or statuses like, "Drinking end of the world beer while the world ends?" Seems like we can make just about anything a drinking game.

I'm hoping that 2013 will bring in some positive changes all around. There needs to be more random acts of kindness, rather than random acts of violence. And as for all of us who are about to hurl ourselves into the real world and try and figure it all out, I think there are positive changes coming our way. I think I've made some progress in deciding what I'm doing after this semester, which is a huge difference from how I felt a couple blog posts back. I've got the urge to travel again, so why not get some experience while I get some personal experience and see the world as well? So hopefully, my future holds a summer internship in Psychology in one of the most beautiful cities int he world: London.

Yeah, I think 2013 will be just fine. Instead of racking my brain and trying to decide what I'm going to do with the rest of my life, I've decided to take whatever comes my way, and try and have as much fun as possible. Goodbye 2012, you have been pretty great to me (and I've been feeling pretty nostalgic about it so you can expect a blog post about that in the near future), and hello to the new adventures of 2013.

I hope everyone had a fun, safe new years eve last night. And let's make this a great year. Cheers to everyone.