Dear fear, hope your mom's well.

Towards the end of my recent fall semester in my counseling class, we were learned about a ton of different therapeutic techniques in the field; who founded them, key points, what to potentially expect, etc. At this point we were learning Narrative Therapy, which is founded by two guys by the names of Michael White and David Epston. It's all about trying to get the client to "re-author" their lives, learning how to construct new meanings for life events that could of potentially made or are making negative impacts on the individuals life, and trying to turn it around and make it more positive. Or not even positive sometimes, just to realize that an event happened, and no matter the outcome, you take that experience and grow from it, and you don't let it hold you back.

Well, one of the techniques that a counselor could do with their client is try and externalize the problem. And how you could do that is make whatever it is an entity other than themselves by say, writing a letter addressed to anyone or anything. Our in class assignment was to write a letter to fear. This is when it got quite interesting.

Many people's were serious, something along the lines of, "I really hate it when you hold me back" or, "If it wasn't for you I would be doing so much more with my life, but you really have helped me at times." But I remember be at a complete road block. I had no idea what to write on the spot, so I went with the famous defense mechanism of humor. My letter was as fallowed:

"Dear Fear,

I haven't seen you lately, hope you're well. Can't really remember the last time we spoke...but your good friend stress sure has been around. You two seem to pair quite well together, I should really set you both up on a date. Dress: semi-casual. I'm sure I'll be seeing you rather soon, with a major life decision coming up and all. Tell your mother Loathing I said hi, and I hope Las Vegas is hot. -Love always, Crystal."

When everyone was finished, I felt I should maybe keep my response to myself when my professor asked for some volunteers to read theirs out loud.  When I heard the seriousness of everyone else's response I thought maybe I'm just not a very serious person. Although I'm sure I can be at times. This was just not one of those moments.

However, even though I was a complete smart-ass with the assignment, I understood the gist of it and what our professor wanted us to try and get out of it. Taken more seriously, I could see how this could be an interesting therapeutic technique for some people.

But like I've mentioned in a previous post, fear is such a pivotal driving element for us, or it would seem more often than not, a hindrance to many, and I'm sure all of us at one point in time. The majority of people's responses (the ones that took it a bit more seriously), had something to do with how fear has held them back or made them feel as if they were unable to do something that they really wanted to. Also, another driving point my professor tried to express throughout the whole fall semester was: living is a risk, try to live in the now and don't let anything hold you back, especially fear. All great take home messages, but it is indeed true that many of us, including myself, don't necessarily live life to the fullest because of this pesky thing called fear.  

It is a bit fearful, living, but who wants to live with all the should of's, could haves, and would haves? I sure don't.

If anyone is interested in learning a bit more about this type of technique you could do a simple google search: Narrative Therapy (Theory). Or if you're feeling up to it and a bit exploratory, try writing a letter addressed to anyone or anything yourself. You might be amazed by some of the things you write.

My opinion is this therapy is quite interesting, and potentially useful, but I don't think you generalize this technique to everyone. Some people just don't like these types of exercises or necessarily learn this way. And you never know, you could also get a smart-ass like me who shits all over it.

Keep calm, and stay fearless people.

Nostalgia in 2013

It's been quite a year, so naturally, with the new year here I've been on a bit of a nostalgic kick. I mean, just this time last year I was about to leave the country for 5 months, and spend it in one of the most beautiful cities in Spain. It changed my life, and I met some amazing people from all around the world. Hopefully I will have an equally amazing time abroad in London this summer if all goes well with the internship I am interested in. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Right around this time just last year is when I was about to embark on one of the biggest adventures of my life; thus the birth of this blog. The start of the journey of a mad white woman. I just can't believe that was almost a year ago, time sure does fly. I remember writing things like, "I'm a little nervous, but so excited to find out what I'm going to be experiencing for the next 5 months of my life in a foreign country," in my first posts. I can't believe that was 30 posts back. I guess for the most part, I'm still writing things like that, only now it's along the lines of I wonder what I'll be experiencing for the next, oh I don't know, two to five years of my life. It's all kind of a guessing game. You can predict, and sometimes those predictions might come true, but more often than not I'm usually way off the mark. You find yourself reminiscing with your friends saying things like "Man I can't believe we did that." Or, "What a year..." something along those lines.

I for one did not necessarily plan out that I would be going abroad. The thought of actually going started when I found out my school even offered programs abroad. I saw study abroad fairs in our schools campus center and language department, started looking at some flyers, and heard the stories of others about their great experiences from where ever they decided to go. So who knows what will happen in just a few short months. I'm hoping greatness. And fun, fun is always good too. I'm just trying to figure it out, while enjoying myself in the process.

These four photos I think pretty much encompass the majority of my 2012 abroad:

This picture was taken outside of my host families house in El Bosque, the town I lived in just outside the heart of Madrid. My host mother, father, sister, and host brothers fiance are at the table, but also my amazing friends who visited me during their spring break. We had a great lunch to welcome them to Spain with all the traditional food and wine I have grown to miss so much. Coincidentally at this lunch, Dom was coined the nickname "El Borrachon" (the drunk) by my host mom. Every time he asked for más agua por favor, his reply was from my host mom was, "No borrachon, más vino." We had a great afternoon, and I had fun playing translator since my host family does not speak English, so needless to say that was an amazingly interesting day.

The USA crew. This picture was taken at Carolina's going away dinner (to my right), since she was going back to the states before all of us. We made up the majority of the Americans who were at La Univerdidad Europea de Madrid last spring semester. Because of the unique experience we were all on, we formed a strong bond in such a short amount of time. The same can be said for this picture as well: 

From all parts of the world we met here in Spain. They are all truly amazing, and beautiful people. I hope to meet up with them all again someday. But for now we have the memories, and also the pains of missing each other, and the great times we had in a country other than our own. 

La última cena en Madrid. This was my specific program since we were all from SUNY schools they grouped us together when we arrived in Madrid with an amazing program director, who was from SUNY Oswego as well, but fell in love with Madrid and decided to make a life there. She was so great in showing us around the city so we could navigate and explore ourselves, while showing us some great buildings and places to eat, and also the history behind it all. This picture was taken right before our last supper at the oldest restaurant in the world, El Sobrino Botín. This is in one of my favorite squares, ópera. In the background is the opera itself, where we were so lucky to have seen a show during our stay in Spain. 

Reminiscing is great, and I miss everything about Spain, but I have a good feeling about this upcoming semester too. With the hopes of an internship abroad in London is making me excited about graduating and doing something different. As for the semester itself, I have a pretty good schedule, with great housemates and great friends. And of course, my 22nd birthday which is rearing it's ugly head right around the corner, so Oswego friends you should start to prepare for the shenanigans that will surely ensue. Here's to a great 2013. 

Oh and this photo as well, which is now the inspiration for my first tattoo! It is from La Ambra in Granada, Spain. After all, todo es merece la pena. 

Sickness and change

A recent trend I have found in new articles and blog posts I have been reading is: change and some sort of negativity or violence. The first related to the fact that we are all growing older, and many of us are at a crucial point in our lives; graduating, taking on potentially lifelong responsibilities, and commitment...or lack there of. And all of this is happening during a time where the world is exhibiting acts of  hate and violence toward each other.

The latter being the strand of violent actions just this past year. I don't remember if I mentioned this in a past post, or if this was just a conversation I remember having with a friend, but I remember talking about how there has been constant negative energy and signs of hate towards each other, especially lately. With the terribly tragic conversations we seam to be having with each other like, "Oh, those poor children in Connecticut whose family of the living and dead have to deal with the pain and suffering."

But it's not just those people in Connecticut who have to deal with the aftermath, although of course they are directly effected, but I believe people everywhere feel the results as well. As least I know I've felt a bit affected, it's made me think about certain things at the very least. Since these types of situations open up whole other topics of conversations like gun control, and mental health, just to name a few other topics. Those are always interesting conversations to have, to see where people stand and their thoughts on such matters, especially to hear what your close friend really think as well. But I think these conversations are absolutely necessary; sometimes, change may start with a conversation.

These are hateful, hateful things we are doing to each other. Will we ever get to a point were, basically, we can all just get along? Is treatment for mental health going out the window? (I think so). In some states is it too easy to acquire a gun, and if so, are those requirements too lenient? All valid questions I think, and I believe we need to talk about them.

On a lesser tragic note, also a topic of conversation was the  Mayan prediction of the Apocalypse (I know that already passed, but I have been pretty sick for over a week, just getting over it, finally). But I guess all on the same lines of impending doom. Personally, I never bought into it, although I do feel we are slowly, or maybe not so slowly, single handedly killing and polluting the environment. And continuing the way we're going may result in just a slight miscalculation on the Mayan's part, instead of feeling like we just got off the hook and we can keep doing what we've been doing. It was just an excuse to party, I mean how many events did everyone see on facebook with the title, "End of the World Party," or statuses like, "Drinking end of the world beer while the world ends?" Seems like we can make just about anything a drinking game.

I'm hoping that 2013 will bring in some positive changes all around. There needs to be more random acts of kindness, rather than random acts of violence. And as for all of us who are about to hurl ourselves into the real world and try and figure it all out, I think there are positive changes coming our way. I think I've made some progress in deciding what I'm doing after this semester, which is a huge difference from how I felt a couple blog posts back. I've got the urge to travel again, so why not get some experience while I get some personal experience and see the world as well? So hopefully, my future holds a summer internship in Psychology in one of the most beautiful cities int he world: London.

Yeah, I think 2013 will be just fine. Instead of racking my brain and trying to decide what I'm going to do with the rest of my life, I've decided to take whatever comes my way, and try and have as much fun as possible. Goodbye 2012, you have been pretty great to me (and I've been feeling pretty nostalgic about it so you can expect a blog post about that in the near future), and hello to the new adventures of 2013.

I hope everyone had a fun, safe new years eve last night. And let's make this a great year. Cheers to everyone.