Quick, pull the ripcord!

There are one million and one over things that I should be doing right now. On that laundry list is actually my laundry, getting through my last year of undergrad, doing some self discovery, and of course the insurmountable task of figuring out what the hell I'm going to do with my life. It has been my philosophy for quite some time now to have this "no pasa nada" attitude, to go with the flow and don't sweat it. But I'm starting to feel the pressure of the reality of the situation here; I can't breathe. I randomly start to feel panicky and have the sudden urge to flee. Maybe this has the undertones of an underlying problem, but hey, I'm not the psychologist yet (although, this 'urge to flee' seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life lately). I'm having a great senior year when you look at it from the outside, but on the inside it's a mess. And I know, oh how I know, that these will become the least of my worries, as is the case for most worries in life.

My posts have gotten progressively more angsty and for that, I apologize. It's not all about sunny beaches and Spanish food anymore. I wish I could go back to that. I wish I could go back to a couple of high points in my life, and leave the lows out. The one thing I know for sure is I don't want to go back to is the timid, naive person that I once was.

This idea segwaying into me sitting on the couch this afternoon, feeling sorry for myself and more alone than ever for some unknown reason, I decided I'm going to take control. I need to be more proactive and grab life by the balls so to speak. Take a step back and breathe. I can do whatever I want, and yeah, right now it's really scary, but everyone goes through it.

I feel like I've really grown into myself this past year, and what I've found is that I'm stronger than I think I am, and I have the ability to push a little bit more even when I think I can't go any further.

So, I propose we all lift each other up, brush each other off, and move forward. We can do this. Si se puede. Anyone else who is going through this as well (and I know you are to some degree), just know that you are not alone, and sometimes you just have to just pull the ripcord, even if you are falling from an astronomical height, and you feel like you just can't do it. Oh, and this guy really did fall from an Astronomical height the other day, check it out this shit is nuts.

One that note, I have a concert to go to, a perfect way to blow off some steam and forget the world for a couple of hours. The power of music really is an amazing thing...